waiting, waiting... don't know when i will start to learn to trust someone again...
debating, debating.... chaos reins inside of me, whether to live again or to seclude myself in an unknown corner...
the musing of a troubled person....
anyway... i feel really really tired today... i think there was really too much sugar yesterday and me, dennis, kok, sathesh, gi hyeon, obrien... all of us chatted non-stop about crap on fb until 3.30am in the morning. wanted to pass up my work but then i was so tired that i only dragged myself out of bed at 9.30 in the morning... and i can't work, all i wanted was to just sleep so i slept and did my laundry, cleaned my whole room finally and finally picked myself up to wash the dishes after my lunch...man... i didnt drink enough water... it just feels like one of the hangovers after being drunk for the previous night... i was drunk, drunk and high on sugar... haha... seriously what did the arabs put into the drinks and desserts? was i right after all that they put the uncooked poppy seed inside the rice pudding... haha... yesterday just felt weird... coz gi hyeon had sugar high on the sugar syrup rings... dennis couldn't sleep because of coke, obrien just does what he does best which is staying up really really late... i think sathesh was drunk from the club... and what else... haha...
conclusion: almost the whole class of computer science first year was high on at least one of the junk foods we have taken except for sathesh... haha... i think i am still high...coz i had too much sweet drinks just now...
wow... messy room... and charity buffet...
wow, i really must say my room is super messy right now... with assignments piling up, tests rolling along my path... i now have notes strewn over the place, laundry at every corner and "unannounceable" stuff lying all over the floor. I am thinking to myself right now... what happened to me? i like things neat and tidy but when i am buzy i need to work with complete chaos around me, blaring hip-hop and rock music on my ears... if not, i can never concentrate on one stuff at all... what happened to miss tidy? i think she is hiding inside the closet afraid to go see what her alter ego had done with her person... ughh... it sounds creepy...
anyway, today i had a charity buffet held for the victims in the pakistan flood.... although i don't quite like the nasi briyani because its not fragrant or tasty enough nor the salad as well... the chicken is something that one must never miss out on...juicy with a hint of spiciness, the chicken is really something to die for... o... it really tasted like heaven...
i didn't dare to try the sugar syrup rings for dessert coz if i have sugar overload i will feel very queasy, but i went for the rice pudding though.. for one, the taste itself was interesting... coz at the first try, the scent of one of the spices was already evident on your tongue... then it blends into a sweet sour taste together with a creamy texture of milk. the nuts on the dessert actually added to the unique fragrance of the rice pudding... so nice... and then i was like "okay, i want to figure out what spices they put"... so i tried and tried again and finally deduced it as the taste of poppy seeds where the indians usually like to put in their curries... then when i asked one of the committee members she said it was only rice pudding nothing else... but i still can't give up my deductions until now... haha... so nice... but then because the drink was already too sweet and the dessert itself was a bit sweet and creamy, i still ended up feeling queasy in the end... but overall its a great meal...
one of the arab girls even came by and said hi... then when she found out i was malaysian and gi hyeon was korean, she was comparing us to and fro and said that she can't find the difference between what koreans and malaysian chinese look like... haha... it was funny to me... but in the end she still apologize for being a bit rude on the context... so i guess it was kind of okay... just that i noticed gi hyeon was a bit uncomfortable with the remark... hmm...
ok... change of topic... i still don't understand recursion in java... am i just stupid or is it too hard? coz he gave us the chess topic of the queen in the 8 position... and this is my first class for recursion in java... i am really really blur right now...
anyway, today i had a charity buffet held for the victims in the pakistan flood.... although i don't quite like the nasi briyani because its not fragrant or tasty enough nor the salad as well... the chicken is something that one must never miss out on...juicy with a hint of spiciness, the chicken is really something to die for... o... it really tasted like heaven...
i didn't dare to try the sugar syrup rings for dessert coz if i have sugar overload i will feel very queasy, but i went for the rice pudding though.. for one, the taste itself was interesting... coz at the first try, the scent of one of the spices was already evident on your tongue... then it blends into a sweet sour taste together with a creamy texture of milk. the nuts on the dessert actually added to the unique fragrance of the rice pudding... so nice... and then i was like "okay, i want to figure out what spices they put"... so i tried and tried again and finally deduced it as the taste of poppy seeds where the indians usually like to put in their curries... then when i asked one of the committee members she said it was only rice pudding nothing else... but i still can't give up my deductions until now... haha... so nice... but then because the drink was already too sweet and the dessert itself was a bit sweet and creamy, i still ended up feeling queasy in the end... but overall its a great meal...
one of the arab girls even came by and said hi... then when she found out i was malaysian and gi hyeon was korean, she was comparing us to and fro and said that she can't find the difference between what koreans and malaysian chinese look like... haha... it was funny to me... but in the end she still apologize for being a bit rude on the context... so i guess it was kind of okay... just that i noticed gi hyeon was a bit uncomfortable with the remark... hmm...
ok... change of topic... i still don't understand recursion in java... am i just stupid or is it too hard? coz he gave us the chess topic of the queen in the 8 position... and this is my first class for recursion in java... i am really really blur right now...
bugging me...
you know something has been bugging me... you know sometimes when a girl walks by with her boyfriend, then when she sees her boyfriends eyes roving to another pretty girl, she will pull her bf to another direction just to keep his eyes from straying... sometimes i just don't get it, why people get involved in a relationship where they know that the other half will cheat on them in every turn? Why be in a relationship where you run the risk of knowing one day you will suffer a severe heartbreak? Maybe other people may argue that it's love and there is nothing much you can do about it? but what about pride? what about you yourself as an individual?
so in love with ring ding dong by shinee right now...
check out shinee's ring ding dong... its so addictive... thanks to Gi Hyeon for suggesting this song!!! thumbs up!!!
anyway... the stupid thing is i just found out i had to write 2000words for my final year essay which i am supposed to pass up 2 weeks later. luckily i am kind of finish with the presentation already, i just need to twitch something here and there then it would be perfect already...
arghhhh.... next week will be super tough coz i have to hand in 2 assignments, have two assessments and still have tons of assignments to complete!!! sigh... why is my life so hectic... but at least i am not as depressed as i was when i was in Brunei... The insane thing is, i like everything here... except the fact that i am stuck in the middle of nowhere... haha... that is what the SA officer call my uni...
Nikki signing out...
anyway... the stupid thing is i just found out i had to write 2000words for my final year essay which i am supposed to pass up 2 weeks later. luckily i am kind of finish with the presentation already, i just need to twitch something here and there then it would be perfect already...
arghhhh.... next week will be super tough coz i have to hand in 2 assignments, have two assessments and still have tons of assignments to complete!!! sigh... why is my life so hectic... but at least i am not as depressed as i was when i was in Brunei... The insane thing is, i like everything here... except the fact that i am stuck in the middle of nowhere... haha... that is what the SA officer call my uni...
Nikki signing out...
today...
finally finished my stupid LAtex assignment... seriously, i don't understand why we need to learn how to do word processing documents using LAtex... its so tedious (they are all in codes) and if you managed to miss one of the codes then the document would either produce a page full of ?????? or a totally blank page... it's such a bore to do so... i wasted precious time because of the freaking messy LAtex document...
anyway, we didnt have any programming classes last week... so i am now thinking... will Mr. Chew torture us by giving us way harder exercises or will he give us 3D Arrays? i vote for 3D arrays though... coz i don't think that i could survive it if he gives us a much more harder 2D array exercise... haizz, i hate you Mr. Chew!!!
anyway, we didnt have any programming classes last week... so i am now thinking... will Mr. Chew torture us by giving us way harder exercises or will he give us 3D Arrays? i vote for 3D arrays though... coz i don't think that i could survive it if he gives us a much more harder 2D array exercise... haizz, i hate you Mr. Chew!!!
Perfume Collection, Baby Kitchens, and Beetlebugs
i love watching elle fowler talk sometimes... its like looking into the typical pink and blonde world.. i think i mainly like her enthusiasm in the little stuff she admires and you can literally picture her in sophie kinsella's shopaholic... it matches her personality so well.. haha.. anyway, i really trust her product reviews... i just think that her reviews are really sincere and i think she even got banned from signing into her youtube account once because of one of the "i don't like it" videos she made and that takes guts..
anyway... if u want some product reviews, i think she is one of the best vlogger to go to... enjoy!!!
i wonder... and yesterday's event!
i haven't written anything at all in a long time... but sometimes i wonder if i can get away from the past, discard them in one go and still stay sane for the rest of my life... times like this i think back, get memories that haunts me from where i am, what i'm doing... will i ever get pass the fact that things happened just because fate decides this is for me? Sometimes when i ponder over stuff, i start to think, perhaps too much knowledge about a person's life is not such a good thing at all... its better to stay ignorant and stupid... that way, you will not take a coward's way out of life, you will never associate something pure with evil... you will just live.. i feel like a dried up prune sometimes... unable to love, unable to hate, unable to rationalize things that i should do in the first place... many times, i asked myself... what is stopping you, why are you stucked? but perhaps no one knows the answer better than i do... but the question that really suck is "how?", how to solve it? and can i solve it?
but when i think things back, i think of where i am now... i am actually much happier here than before... for the first time in a year, i finally start to live again, but i haven't really start to feel yet... i think maybe time will heal that part of me... but i know more than ever, that is just wishful thinking, it's just an abstract thought... but for now... i am happier... that must be enough... i told gwen about it and i think i feel happier... just happier...
okay, forget that crap... yesterday morning i finally started to read my CSA and managed to finish a little stuff in the morning... at 11am, gwen texted me and said she finally finished her charity run... so i went to the usual routine when i am going out... packed some essential items into my bag and just made a dash for the bus stop at 11.50... i actually thought i was going to be the late one... funny thing is, gwen turned out to show up later than me... so it was kind of a relief somehow.. anyway, the bus was supposed to show up at 12, and another one should show up at 12.30... turns out the bus at 12 was already 45minutes late... so when we showed up at kajang ktm it was already 1.15pm... and the teller was sitting at the counter lazily handling the customers their ticket and lazily counting the change for the tickets... so we missed the first train... the second train was half an hour late... and when we boarded it, we were squished like canned sardines. the thing i don't like about ktm is that at some stops, they will cut off the aircond and start to recharge the train... then we would be stucked in between a few walks away from our destination and ending up sweating like pigs in the end... not a good idea if you are not wearing any deodorant and when the next person to you is exposing their armpits coz they are holding on to the top safety handler... awkward*-*
anyway, when me and gwen arrived at midvalley, we rushed like nobody's business to gelato... coz we already made a pact that no matter what is the situation, we would first buy ice-cream and then go to the theater later... so we did and with the ice-cream perching crazily in our grasp, we ran again upstairs to find the theater... luckily the boys who were waiting there already bought our lunch from McD...gwen kept the food in her backpack, and i kept the two drinks in mine... i asked gwen then"how are we going to get our ice-cream into the theater?"
" that is a good question..."
i forgot to tell her to lower her ice-cream down, so that it doesn't show that visibly when we pass the ticket checking area...so the guy there said"no foods allowed..."
i was like"what the hell", coz the show was already starting... the rest of them just went in first and only ziwei waited for me and gwen to finish the ice-cream... so sweet... haha
anyway, the first taste of ice-cream was still ok, but when u have consecutive bites of them with only a few seconds apart, that is when the icy feeling gets freaking unbearable and i was walking up and down, to and fro just to dissipate the coldness... that is what i call -- brainfreeze...haha, in a way it was kind of fun...
you will understand why i called it brainfreeze... coz what i did was kind of stupid... the thing is that when i went into the theater, only then did i notice that my bag was wet and i was like "This is so going to be hard to wash off later..." and i smelled the drink... it was my milo... sigh... i ended up smelling like chocolate for the rest of the day... and sorry theater... i spoiled ur carpet with a blotch... hehe, but i don't have any remorse about it...i am so bad...
anyway, we watched harry potter part 1 yesterday... surprisingly it improved...A LOT!!! coz before i even stepped into the theater i expected it to suck like nothing else... but i must say, they really did build the content up to the book's standard already... if not, i'll still be moaning away about how bad it was... haha
That night, we had a car bump into ziwei's bumper and it just drove away without stopping by to see the damage. luckily there were no scratches on the car... if there was then he would have to go to the police station and report the incident already... we later went for an impromptu tong sui late night supper... we chatted and it was actually fun to see the boys and gwen joking around... it really felt like a great friends-only outing. and together it made a perfect ending for the day... the only thing that i can say is, wow...
Nikki signing out........
me and gwen wearing the same kind of shoes--taken yesterday...
but when i think things back, i think of where i am now... i am actually much happier here than before... for the first time in a year, i finally start to live again, but i haven't really start to feel yet... i think maybe time will heal that part of me... but i know more than ever, that is just wishful thinking, it's just an abstract thought... but for now... i am happier... that must be enough... i told gwen about it and i think i feel happier... just happier...
okay, forget that crap... yesterday morning i finally started to read my CSA and managed to finish a little stuff in the morning... at 11am, gwen texted me and said she finally finished her charity run... so i went to the usual routine when i am going out... packed some essential items into my bag and just made a dash for the bus stop at 11.50... i actually thought i was going to be the late one... funny thing is, gwen turned out to show up later than me... so it was kind of a relief somehow.. anyway, the bus was supposed to show up at 12, and another one should show up at 12.30... turns out the bus at 12 was already 45minutes late... so when we showed up at kajang ktm it was already 1.15pm... and the teller was sitting at the counter lazily handling the customers their ticket and lazily counting the change for the tickets... so we missed the first train... the second train was half an hour late... and when we boarded it, we were squished like canned sardines. the thing i don't like about ktm is that at some stops, they will cut off the aircond and start to recharge the train... then we would be stucked in between a few walks away from our destination and ending up sweating like pigs in the end... not a good idea if you are not wearing any deodorant and when the next person to you is exposing their armpits coz they are holding on to the top safety handler... awkward*-*
anyway, when me and gwen arrived at midvalley, we rushed like nobody's business to gelato... coz we already made a pact that no matter what is the situation, we would first buy ice-cream and then go to the theater later... so we did and with the ice-cream perching crazily in our grasp, we ran again upstairs to find the theater... luckily the boys who were waiting there already bought our lunch from McD...gwen kept the food in her backpack, and i kept the two drinks in mine... i asked gwen then"how are we going to get our ice-cream into the theater?"
" that is a good question..."
i forgot to tell her to lower her ice-cream down, so that it doesn't show that visibly when we pass the ticket checking area...so the guy there said"no foods allowed..."
i was like"what the hell", coz the show was already starting... the rest of them just went in first and only ziwei waited for me and gwen to finish the ice-cream... so sweet... haha
anyway, the first taste of ice-cream was still ok, but when u have consecutive bites of them with only a few seconds apart, that is when the icy feeling gets freaking unbearable and i was walking up and down, to and fro just to dissipate the coldness... that is what i call -- brainfreeze...haha, in a way it was kind of fun...
you will understand why i called it brainfreeze... coz what i did was kind of stupid... the thing is that when i went into the theater, only then did i notice that my bag was wet and i was like "This is so going to be hard to wash off later..." and i smelled the drink... it was my milo... sigh... i ended up smelling like chocolate for the rest of the day... and sorry theater... i spoiled ur carpet with a blotch... hehe, but i don't have any remorse about it...i am so bad...
anyway, we watched harry potter part 1 yesterday... surprisingly it improved...A LOT!!! coz before i even stepped into the theater i expected it to suck like nothing else... but i must say, they really did build the content up to the book's standard already... if not, i'll still be moaning away about how bad it was... haha
That night, we had a car bump into ziwei's bumper and it just drove away without stopping by to see the damage. luckily there were no scratches on the car... if there was then he would have to go to the police station and report the incident already... we later went for an impromptu tong sui late night supper... we chatted and it was actually fun to see the boys and gwen joking around... it really felt like a great friends-only outing. and together it made a perfect ending for the day... the only thing that i can say is, wow...
Nikki signing out........
me and gwen wearing the same kind of shoes--taken yesterday...
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