had a great conversation with sing yee and eng last thursday. we were talking about taking pictures. sing yee said she wished tht someone could actually write a script and make all of us act out in the field. there must also be a person shooting us professionally so we could capture life as itself. then i said, whenever we tried to shoot something, the picture would always turn up differently from the way we looked at it in real life, whether it is the distance, the set of colors or the ambiance that made it to be what it is in nature. sing yee said thats true. she said that she once saw this really great setting, the sun at the back of the thick clouds just peeping outwards. then there was this small ray of life showing through, casting it's straight rays downwards on the ground. she said she wished that she had a camera at that time. but even if someone did have one, it would not really portray that image as it is, for a camera is a different object, with a different range of view. what you see will not come out as the same thing in the camera. i agree. i noticed things at times, wishing that i could really capture them as i saw them and show others what i saw. it would be really interesting if i could point out what it was. maybe my answer lies here, maybe someday it would be the epitome of my future. but just maybe, not really.

i don't know how to start off with my own revisions this time. i got really bad marks for chem and bio. it didn't even reach a satisfactory mark. told mom about it, i know i got really depressed that day. when the questions came out, i should have known. they were predictable like hell, i should have spent more time focusing on that few topics than focusing on how to finish every single subject. i knew every single answer but i phrased everything wrongly making the answer vague and veering it to another meaning. and then the extra part was i didn't finish my test paper and panicked at last minute. the last mistake i made was that i spent too much time on the graph so i would have finished on time if i left it for the last part. damn i hate that paper. remind me never to make that stupid mistake again. my chem took a bad turn. i didn't explain enough as it seemed. got 67 for that test paper and the irony of it was that my mark was the highest in class. 67 67 67 67 i am really going mad. do you call 67 a mark at all? damn, the test paper sucks. i am no relegated into the C grade, long live the loser... the irony of the ironies......

i just found the DKNY advertisement on net. yesterday our english teacher told us to do a commentary on the nina ricci perfume ad. to be honest, i like the DKNY ad better, the meaning given is clear and precise, very modern and it really brings out the depth of life itself, whether it is in the city or otherwise exotic places. here are some of the photos......




these are the diesel advertisement. the colors really bring out the life in the picture. very attractive and innovative. makes you know the meaning straight away.
this is the nina ricci ad, took me a lot of troubles to interpret the meanings since nothing seems to connect. but when i looked at it for almost an hour. i found that it really has depth. the silver sash hanging the crystal apple perfume bottle, the silver leaves, the light pastel colors, the woman's wavy hair, the gown, everything... but still because i wasted that half hour i found that i couldn't finish anything at all because there were too much things to write about.
i like this ad. the answer key was actually the apples. apple for New York, the big apple, then the rest really links. the big buildings, the red splash of color. the way it portray just makes you want to have it. that's what i like, strong and straight to the point!
this is the perfume bottle of the Nina Ricci perfume. Beautiful right? Like what the ad said...magical!

sting - shape of my heart

oh yea, i just found out the movie is Leon or the professional. hope you guys enjoy

Sting - Shape of my Heart

i loved this song since i was a little kid. somehow the song just reached into me. it was actually the soundtrack for a 1993 movie. i forgot what it was, but i just saw some glimpse of it. the video showed a hired killer walking back to his own flat every day. a girl of almost my own age sat at the edge of the railings looking at the passer by, smoking.the girl's parent were those kind of corrupted parents. then when she saw the man, she would give him a seductive glance every time he passes by. the man would ignore her, walk to his room then take off his coat. when he did, there were a lot of firearms strapped to his body. then he would open his case and reveal an AK47 (i think).
one day, a mass murder was held in the girl's home, killing her parents and her only brother. she was out at that time, buying the groceries. then when she came home and went into one of the room, she saw her parents lay dead on the floor, their steel, cold, soulless eyes facing her. she dropped the grocery bag and went straight to the man's house, crying and banging the door with desperation. when the man admitted her in, he refuse to take care of her so she took up the 9 millimeter gun on the table and started to shoot randomly at the passer bys below the flat. just like that, he took care of her and taught her how to shoot and plan an assassination. at the end the hired killer died by the gun of the police while trying to save the girl from them. she buried him under a tree and planted his favorite plant near his grave. the story was quite good actually, i wanted to search back the video but i still can't find it. it is an old song but i still loved it over the years, i doubt i will ever get bored with it. here's the lyrics..

"Shape Of My Heart"

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart

i am so dead meat today. i have a high stack of bio notes to read and i still haven't finish them off yet. i don't know what i am going to do this time but at least it is in the last period and when i come back i have a high pile of homework to finish. i really broke down last night, shouted at every single person because they woke me from my sleep. i woke up at 3 to just study yesterday so its just plain unreasonable to wake me up. i did nothing wrong,i won't admit it anyway. i am only sorry for my bro though, he did nothing to make him deserve all that shit he had to put up with. i am already at the end of my nerves. say one more word and i may blow your head off kind of situation. i tried to keep everything in, i tried that very hard, even to an extent of being sweet but when my fuse really blows, my nerves don't die down they explode. i don't care anymore about my studies but i can't can i?

i just found this out in my computer. some of the shots are taken last two months, some of them just a few weeks ago...

Beauty

Supa asked me about my 2 brothers yesterday. i guess we are in an age where looks matter a whole lot to us. she asked if my little bro will grow up some day to become as handsome as my 15 year old bro. i said he will be handsome but will not have the same attraction as my other bro will give. somehow he will have another kind of attraction, which is his intellectual, his caring nature and his much more innocent allure. that i believe, there has to be something different about a person to stand out in the crowd. but no matter what happens they will still be a part of my life, from childhood to maybe adulthood.

in english class yesterday, our teacher wanted us to comment on the 2006 DKNY perfume ad. there were apples, even the perfume itself was shaped as an apple with an apple like tag at the silver top of the perfume bottle. then khai saw this ad and said,
"the girl is so hot!" i couldn't help it, and laughed out loud with the others.
"you should watch less porn you know" hanah said irritatedly. i admit he should. it a damned nuinsense sometimes and its rude when you are talking to a person. he even made up a fantasy of being married to our beautiful english teacher. he had this really short haircut this time. hanah said he looked like a girl. when i gave a "speculation", he kept shaking his head asking me to deny what hanah said. then hanah told him to remove his glasses, and when he removed them... damn there could be no other boy looking more like a girl anymore. he pouted his lips then said,
"i'm not a gay and i wish to fuck a girl every single day!" at that time we really did double over, laughing into fits. talking about rude, it's also hilarious when he gets the full attention of the girls by being laughed at. we are so damned bad!
when i went to pick my little bro up, one of the student's mom always dressed to show her full body figure. whatever she chooses to dress, her code was to always look provocative. and the thing was that she always did. yesterday she was walking in the opposite direction to me across the road. she put up that haughty head of hers and walk straight across the road without bothering to look at the cars and still looked as she always did. i arched an eyebrow at her and looked towards the coming car's direction and guess what. the car's driver was actually a lady and her effort of staying sexy, came to nothing. haha, she just crossed the road as if all the drivers were male with drooping saliva from their mouth. thats the problem of being beautiful. sometimes you become so attentive to your appearance that you miss every single thing surrounding you and also become the laughingstock of the audiences surrounding you. the irony of it all.

My life, I own, I owe to myself

my life has been different in a lot of ways. the things i went through, the sequence that my life was played out just makes me gasp sometimes at the deep emotion it made me feel. all my life i wanted to be free, to be at least not confined and tied up to a place but to take things into my own hands. That someday later will cause a lot of uproar in emotions. to be me, purely me without any other influences would be a bit hard after all we are all on stage acting our parts in our own world. Life, the meaning of my own life is still not that clear cut to me, and i doubt it ever would. to me life is the teachings of yourself to what your own life means and no others. they will be forever adding up, multiplying in numbers until it is so vast in variation that it can only be yours and no one else's. but before that i want to keep track of every single events so i will not miss out in myself and the things i treasure in my life. this will be my story about my own life in which people can only watch and see but not fully understand what i wish to imply in. Knowledge comes a long way, no one has the same set of mind when they live in the same space together and that in itself is a treasure because there can be only one you surrounding you. Like me, like life, like my own...