had a great conversation with sing yee and eng last thursday. we were talking about taking pictures. sing yee said she wished tht someone could actually write a script and make all of us act out in the field. there must also be a person shooting us professionally so we could capture life as itself. then i said, whenever we tried to shoot something, the picture would always turn up differently from the way we looked at it in real life, whether it is the distance, the set of colors or the ambiance that made it to be what it is in nature. sing yee said thats true. she said that she once saw this really great setting, the sun at the back of the thick clouds just peeping outwards. then there was this small ray of life showing through, casting it's straight rays downwards on the ground. she said she wished that she had a camera at that time. but even if someone did have one, it would not really portray that image as it is, for a camera is a different object, with a different range of view. what you see will not come out as the same thing in the camera. i agree. i noticed things at times, wishing that i could really capture them as i saw them and show others what i saw. it would be really interesting if i could point out what it was. maybe my answer lies here, maybe someday it would be the epitome of my future. but just maybe, not really.

i don't know how to start off with my own revisions this time. i got really bad marks for chem and bio. it didn't even reach a satisfactory mark. told mom about it, i know i got really depressed that day. when the questions came out, i should have known. they were predictable like hell, i should have spent more time focusing on that few topics than focusing on how to finish every single subject. i knew every single answer but i phrased everything wrongly making the answer vague and veering it to another meaning. and then the extra part was i didn't finish my test paper and panicked at last minute. the last mistake i made was that i spent too much time on the graph so i would have finished on time if i left it for the last part. damn i hate that paper. remind me never to make that stupid mistake again. my chem took a bad turn. i didn't explain enough as it seemed. got 67 for that test paper and the irony of it was that my mark was the highest in class. 67 67 67 67 i am really going mad. do you call 67 a mark at all? damn, the test paper sucks. i am no relegated into the C grade, long live the loser... the irony of the ironies......