kim hyun joong!!!

he was right not to give her his phone number... if a person is not interested then its correct not to give anymore misleading signals... this is called self-preservation...

but haha, hyun joong's scandal at Hong Kong is just plain hilarious. i LOL when i saw the news before this...haha

probably getting scolded these few days...

finally going back to penang tomorrow.. for some reasons i am not going to say i actually prefer staying here than go back to grandma's house... dad will probably stick me at grandma's house for the full week anyway... and there is really no point going back to kedah, coz all my aunts are going for the japan trip... i miss my brothers, my dad and my aunts... my uncle as well for the fact but not my father's side... i don't even know them although we are all related by blood... and i miss mom, missing mom the most... the only consolation i have going to penang is to see mom... i sometimes hate myself for yearning stuff that i can't have... but sometimes is my request so much that it is unreasonable to wish for it... perhaps so... that's all i could say...

going to kl sentral tomorrow with gi hyeon first then dropping off to take the bus.. bye bye kuala lumpur for the moment... hello dentist and penang and mom, here i come?!

Shing Shing

xtra xtras..

haven't told u about how yesterday's presentation turned out to be...

well we actually had class at 9am yesterday... and yeah!!! its my first time wearing glasses outside my room, house or dorm in 2 years... not because i am vain.... haha, probably i am before i changed to the new one, my last one was like slanted to one side, and the lenses were like coming off all the time... i tried to have all the problems corrected but in the end, the only choice left for me was to buy a new one... and i am so used to wearing colored lenses or just lenses in general that i felt weird wearing glasses already. it really felt weird coz i was like debating all the time whether to wear the glasses for class or not and i kind of miss that carefree feeling of not caring whether the glasses were falling off the bridge of your nose or you were just plainly looking at someone with that "schoolmarm style". anyway... i showed up for class at 9.10am. i really thought i was ten minutes late and rushed into the lab with my glasses askew. then gi hyeon and fathin were like clapping their hands coz its the first time they see me with glasses... hell, its the first time in two years i wore glasses out in the public... haha... then i think it was fathin who said that selvaraj, our lecturer, would be coming in only at 10am... sigh... i was saying, "then what's the reason i come in so early for? " and gi hyeon just answered "that's why..."... -_-"(sweat)...

then when selvaraj came in, bahgya just went out... then she called gi hyeon later on and claimed that she had headache and that she was not feeling well so she wanted her to pass the laptop to her downstairs at the blue building's lobby... i knew she was lying... hell, everybody knew she was lying... and i want to see if she felt any guilt about it so i followed gi hyeon downstairs... but she didn't show up for 5 min and the class was already starting... so i told gi hyeon not to wait and just give me the phone while she was calling bahgya... i intended to talk to her but she hanged the phone up... so i said to gi hyeon that we should teach her a lesson and leave her hanging in the lobby.. so in the end she agreed and we went up. bahgya had no choice later but to attend the class...and i passed the laptop to her personally. not to say i really hate her but then i will like her more if she is just a bit less selfish with her ways... because of all her whining, the whole class got stuck with two tests per week with 3 assignments to pass up together... that is why she is in my blacklist right now...

anyway, after the morning class, we went straight to tesco... i had claypot kuey teow... it was nice.. but i miss penang food... i think its the best ever... but then u can't find anything here that lives up to the penang standard... and i miss the sushi and the roti canai in brunei as well as the cheap nasi lemak and kari in kedah... seriously 1 packet of that only cost 50cents... miss it so much... anyway we went and did some grocery shopping... but the computer at the cashier crashed so we had to wait for the manager to come, while the cashier banged the lid of the receipt printer up and down for several times... then of course the time went pass our supposed appointment time... then when we went back to the campus...we couldn't find selvaraj in his room nor in BA06, so we went to the lab to check our email... turns out that he said 1.15 to 2 pm he would be out for lunch and he would be available only at 2.15pm... so we waited until the time came and fathin went in for the presentation first... i was like walking up and down, greeting what seemed like too many lecturers at that time, feeling as if i was waiting for my belated death sentence... coughing... ok, that was, choi choi choi choi choi... then i thought why not listen to the question that he would ask fathin later.. so i listened then i heard him say something about user... then i was like, "shit what user, what user? i never got anything starting with user before.." then i was listening so hard for any voices inside the room that when fathin opened the door i was like so taken aback... hahaha...then the presentation actually turned out ok... i didn't even practice for the thing coz i know it would unsettle me more... so i kinda forgot everything i wrote already... but it turned out that i could think pretty fast... haha, so proud of myself right now... but i answered most of the question with illogical answers... and he took most of it in... coz if i answered wrongly he would give off a funny look...

anyway, after that, programming was like a lullaby to me... i wanted to fall flat on my face and just sleep...but then luckily i didn't or mr chew would personally pick me out and scold me... i now know why his surname is chew, coz he is the monster that chews all his students up with his "oh, that one you will learn only next semester" questions... then he would laugh gleefully over it... evil........ haha... he's not so bad... but only too eccentric for my taste...

nikki signing out...

fathers and their silly habits...

today, gi hyeon, me and rachel were talking about how our fathers act when it comes to the internet.. i swear one of the funniest things about fathers are that they will call u for every small thing, even for the most random internet pop-ups; and they expect u to read every single thing before u close the window... then when he goes to an unknown website and infects the computer with virus, he will blame u for doing the "deed". hahaha.. so funny, i guess we are all missing our dads at this kind of time, even though they are the ones that annoys you when it comes to doing work for them or in this particular case... the internet... the thing about me is that when it comes to missing our siblings then we will go on and on about it and say at every opportunity that we miss them, but when it comes to our fathers, we blame them about this and that and will never admit that we miss them coz perhaps sometimes they are just too overbearing... but we all kind of miss them all the same...

anyway... i am so dead meat... tomorrow I am going out for the PC fair..sunday, out to watch movie with gwen... the presentation and the assignments handing-in is due on monday, on wednesday i have CSA test... thursday i have programming test as well as practicals... and i only read chpt 2,3(only half of it is finished), and 5 for CSA... programming...i havent even started yet... shit... i am so dead meat...arghhh.... what to do... o ya.. went against my fears yesterday and conquered it.. yeah!!! one victory and a lot of test pending... sigh...

waiting, waiting... don't know when i will start to learn to trust someone again...

debating, debating.... chaos reins inside of me, whether to live again or to seclude myself in an unknown corner...

the musing of a troubled person....


anyway... i feel really really tired today... i think there was really too much sugar yesterday and me, dennis, kok, sathesh, gi hyeon, obrien... all of us chatted non-stop about crap on fb until 3.30am in the morning. wanted to pass up my work but then i was so tired that i only dragged myself out of bed at 9.30 in the morning... and i can't work, all i wanted was to just sleep so i slept and did my laundry, cleaned my whole room finally and finally picked myself up to wash the dishes after my lunch...man... i didnt drink enough water... it just feels like one of the hangovers after being drunk for the previous night... i was drunk, drunk and high on sugar... haha... seriously what did the arabs put into the drinks and desserts? was i right after all that they put the uncooked poppy seed inside the rice pudding... haha... yesterday just felt weird... coz gi hyeon had sugar high on the sugar syrup rings... dennis couldn't sleep because of coke, obrien just does what he does best which is staying up really really late... i think sathesh was drunk from the club... and what else... haha...

conclusion: almost the whole class of computer science first year was high on at least one of the junk foods we have taken except for sathesh... haha... i think i am still high...coz i had too much sweet drinks just now...

wow... messy room... and charity buffet...

wow, i really must say my room is super messy right now... with assignments piling up, tests rolling along my path... i now have notes strewn over the place, laundry at every corner and "unannounceable" stuff lying all over the floor. I am thinking to myself right now... what happened to me? i like things neat and tidy but when i am buzy i need to work with complete chaos around me, blaring hip-hop and rock music on my ears... if not, i can never concentrate on one stuff at all... what happened to miss tidy? i think she is hiding inside the closet afraid to go see what her alter ego had done with her person... ughh... it sounds creepy...

anyway, today i had a charity buffet held for the victims in the pakistan flood.... although i don't quite like the nasi briyani because its not fragrant or tasty enough nor the salad as well... the chicken is something that one must never miss out on...juicy with a hint of spiciness, the chicken is really something to die for... o... it really tasted like heaven...

i didn't dare to try the sugar syrup rings for dessert coz if i have sugar overload i will feel very queasy, but i went for the rice pudding though.. for one, the taste itself was interesting... coz at the first try, the scent of one of the spices was already evident on your tongue... then it blends into a sweet sour taste together with a creamy texture of milk. the nuts on the dessert actually added to the unique fragrance of the rice pudding... so nice... and then i was like "okay, i want to figure out what spices they put"... so i tried and tried again and finally deduced it as the taste of poppy seeds where the indians usually like to put in their curries... then when i asked one of the committee members she said it was only rice pudding nothing else... but i still can't give up my deductions until now... haha... so nice... but then because the drink was already too sweet and the dessert itself was a bit sweet and creamy, i still ended up feeling queasy in the end... but overall its a great meal...

one of the arab girls even came by and said hi... then when she found out i was malaysian and gi hyeon was korean, she was comparing us to and fro and said that she can't find the difference between what koreans and malaysian chinese look like... haha... it was funny to me... but in the end she still apologize for being a bit rude on the context... so i guess it was kind of okay... just that i noticed gi hyeon was a bit uncomfortable with the remark... hmm...

ok... change of topic... i still don't understand recursion in java... am i just stupid or is it too hard? coz he gave us the chess topic of the queen in the 8 position... and this is my first class for recursion in java... i am really really blur right now...

bugging me...

you know something has been bugging me... you know sometimes when a girl walks by with her boyfriend, then when she sees her boyfriends eyes roving to another pretty girl, she will pull her bf to another direction just to keep his eyes from straying... sometimes i just don't get it, why people get involved in a relationship where they know that the other half will cheat on them in every turn? Why be in a relationship where you run the risk of knowing one day you will suffer a severe heartbreak? Maybe other people may argue that it's love and there is nothing much you can do about it? but what about pride? what about you yourself as an individual?